Day Five

Teenagers....there really is not understanding them if they don't even understand themselves. She had really gotten into wanting to look like everyone else. We've been having some hair issues...she things is should be lighter [there is not way I'm letting her dye her hair at this age!]. I ask (nicely), "Hey how to you want your hair to look?", "What style would you like?". The responses I get are "I don't know."

Well duh! How in the world am I to help you achieve a look when you don't even know what it is???!!! And the you get upset and moody and put you bad attitude on the rest of us. You would think with all the time she spent on the internet she would have found some styles that she was interested in and would say, "Hey mom, something like this would be nice."

But nooooo! I am subjected to evasiveness like I have never seen. I thought my patients were bad when it came to trying to hide information. Again, I could be over reacting. Maybe she really doesn't know. I am not going to let her completely off the hook, since if she really wanted something than she should make the effort to find out about it, figure it out and not just sit back and let the wind blow things her way.

I do hope she'll keep up the skin cleaning regimen. Its help me stay motivated to remove all my makeup every night. Now if I can get her to feel that way about daily showering and keeping her toes and finger nails in shape!! I try not to think about what is going to happen once she starts her period.

I did keep my word and took her over to a clothing store not far from the house. She decided NOT to bring the catalog [I felt it was a mistake] and see what was available. She didn't admit it but she had gotten very emotional...maybe thinking we weren't going to make it to the store. We dropped of an Avon order before heading and my customer got a little talkative. Something that should have been done in 2 mins. took 18. Well we still were going to go, though I knew we'd have to rush because another client was stopping by in less than an hour. It all worked and I didn't say anything to her but I don't even have a category for that one. Or maybe I do, "Oh ye of little faith." Maybe that one will do.

Anyway earlier I had used a tape measure to check her chest measurements...the girl is going to need new underwear for back to school. Another goal is to get her to start thinking more healthy but not be obsessed with weight. My all these fine lines!

Okay back to the shopping. Well she looked but couldn't really make up her mind. She did try on a t-shirt and a halter top but didn't quite achieve the "catalog" log. They had a great sale [$2 shirts on a clearance rack]...now me I would have cleaned up, but $40 worth so I could get the $20 coupon and come back and buy jeans or something. Not my child. Note her catalog order would equal around $72 consisting of 4 shirts and a pair of shorts. She selected two $2 shirts and that was it. We could have been half way down with BTS shopping but now she only picks 2 tops. I swear she is her father when it comes to be cheap. I am all for saving but this was an excellent opportunity and it wouldn't be wasteful. Of course my feeling will not be hurt if she takes the $3.88 tops for WalMart.

All I can say is I'll be happy when I am working and back in shape!

My son survived his first week back to preschool. No trouble putting him to bed tonight. I think as long as we keep including him and talking to him like a big boy he may just calm down and be more respectful of others. I know we must be patient and consistent.

Well the house is quiet, time for me to quiet down too.

Day Three

My daughter's 12th birthday. All in all it was a good day. She was excited to open her cards and gifts. I kept a straight face when she joined us at the breakfast table dressed in her pajamas and tiara.

She couldn't quite decide what she wanted to do for the day. Soak City and Belmont Park kept coming up. The state of my physical appearance really don't lend me to wanting to be out and about but I know I can't close myself off. Gotta get motivated again. No one told me being a parent was so tiring.

Anyway I showed her out to shop through a catalog and write down requests she has. She wanted to know it there was a store locally we could by the same items...sometimes but other times you have to shop online.

As I watched her today she seems unable to make concrete decisions. Sometimes...
I wonder if that was fault of me and her father. I rarely am indecisive. I know what I want, when I want it and how I want it. Have I made the decisions for so long that now that we've through the ball in her court she can't seem to think it through and then do it? Or is she so uncomfortable with this new room to grow that she is overwhelmed.

When she was smaller I used to "secretly" joke about how 'blonde' my child was. No serious offense to real blondes but there were days when I all I could do was shake my head.

Putting the stereotypes and generalizations aside, I had to look at the three fingers pointing back at me as I pointed one at her. Had my strong woman stance caused my daughter to become this pretty wall flower that allowed others to make and shape all her choices? Or maybe I was jumping the gun. Maybe this is what the teenage years are for. A time to recognize and acknowledge your own mind and heart and begin to assert some independence while learning.

Patience...there's that word again! May my learning patience for my daughter rub off on her to learn patience with her brother.

I am actually optimistic. She was happy with the am/pm skin moisturizers I purchased for her. I'll start explaining the importance of taking care of her skin, body and belongings even more now so she'll make good long term habits that will last her a life time.

May I remember to know make her into WHO I want her to be but be supportive of the person she is developing into and that she is called to be.