Day Three

My daughter's 12th birthday. All in all it was a good day. She was excited to open her cards and gifts. I kept a straight face when she joined us at the breakfast table dressed in her pajamas and tiara.

She couldn't quite decide what she wanted to do for the day. Soak City and Belmont Park kept coming up. The state of my physical appearance really don't lend me to wanting to be out and about but I know I can't close myself off. Gotta get motivated again. No one told me being a parent was so tiring.

Anyway I showed her out to shop through a catalog and write down requests she has. She wanted to know it there was a store locally we could by the same items...sometimes but other times you have to shop online.

As I watched her today she seems unable to make concrete decisions. Sometimes...
I wonder if that was fault of me and her father. I rarely am indecisive. I know what I want, when I want it and how I want it. Have I made the decisions for so long that now that we've through the ball in her court she can't seem to think it through and then do it? Or is she so uncomfortable with this new room to grow that she is overwhelmed.

When she was smaller I used to "secretly" joke about how 'blonde' my child was. No serious offense to real blondes but there were days when I all I could do was shake my head.

Putting the stereotypes and generalizations aside, I had to look at the three fingers pointing back at me as I pointed one at her. Had my strong woman stance caused my daughter to become this pretty wall flower that allowed others to make and shape all her choices? Or maybe I was jumping the gun. Maybe this is what the teenage years are for. A time to recognize and acknowledge your own mind and heart and begin to assert some independence while learning.

Patience...there's that word again! May my learning patience for my daughter rub off on her to learn patience with her brother.

I am actually optimistic. She was happy with the am/pm skin moisturizers I purchased for her. I'll start explaining the importance of taking care of her skin, body and belongings even more now so she'll make good long term habits that will last her a life time.

May I remember to know make her into WHO I want her to be but be supportive of the person she is developing into and that she is called to be.